Unemployment reaches new low, as do politicians and their cronies

BREAKING NEWS:

The government continue to encourage rigging of employment figures to enable Mark ‘print more’ Carney to raise interest rates. Speaking to one former scrounger who just got a job had this to say: ” I sit and watch the phone, sometimes all day, waiting for it to ring to be told whether I have any work for the day or not. I get NO hours, NO pay and it goes towards reducing government unemployment. I am doing my bit.
My cousin on my Dad’s side has done better, she shares her job with 2 other people and just got on the ‘help to buy’ scheme to get a new £300,000 3 bed house.”In other news, to safeguard this potential rise in interest rates which threatens to ignite riots as people are asked to leave their homes by bankers – London Mayor Boris ‘I am funny’ Johnson, fresh from shutting 10 fire stations has ordered water cannons to ensure peace through superior fire power.

Of course this is a fictional news bulletin but is not all that far from the truth as the UK seeks to sanction the use of chemical weapons and water cannons for use on the public here in the UK with the government seemingly worried that an imminent rise in interest rates potentially resulting in civil unrest. With court proceedings citing the shooting of individuals on our streets as lawful it is a dangerous time to be an ‘outlaw’ in the eyes of the state. We are left with dangerous precedents being set where the line between police and military are being blurred and the presence of guns and severe measures for crowd control are the norm. The difference between the police and army is that the police are supposed to serve and protect the people, whilst the military are to protect the people from enemies of the state. As the police become ever more militarised it is the people who end up becoming the enemies of the state.

In other news it is official ‘GREED IS GOOD’ as American Kevin O’Leary channeled the spirit of Gordon Gecko when he said the 3.5bn people living in abject poverty and destitution is beautiful, leaving them waking up every morning, not hungry and starving, but thinking that they too could be “filthy stinking rich”. You cannot make it up.

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